Can you believe it’s almost 2024? It feels like just yesterday we were making jokes about Facebook buying Oculus and calling Snapchat “the next big thing.” How time flies when you’re scrolling endlessly!
As we look ahead to the next year in social media, there are some totally obvious trends we can expect. I decided to have some fun imagining the ridiculous things that are TOTALLY going to happen in 2024. Get ready for some serious snark!
1. Facebook Launches “Facegram”
In a surprise move, Facebook will rebrand itself as Facegram in an effort to stay hip with Gen Z. CEO Mark Zuckerberg will claim “the kids are all about the ‘gram these days” and changing the name will make Facebook appeal to a younger audience.
The newly dubbed Facegram will launch pointless new features like 3D selfies and VR filters. It will also take inspiration from TikTok and force users to watch ads between each post on their feed. #FacegramForLife will totally take off as a trending hashtag.
2. LinkedIn Introduces “Clout Scores”
In an effort to gamify networking, LinkedIn will introduce “clout scores” – a new metric that ranks how influential you are as a LinkedIn user. Your clout score will be based on your number of followers, profile views, and engagement on posts.
Ambitious professionals will desperately compete to get the highest clout score. Anything less than a 10/10 score will be seen as shameful. Expect to see lots of toxic hustle culture and clout chasing as users do whatever it takes to boost their stats. #BlessedWithA10 #GrindForThatClout
3. Reddit Launches Its Own Dating App
Reddit will follow in Bumble and Hinge’s footsteps by launching its own dating app called Upvote. Daters’ profiles will consist of their Reddit karma, most active subreddits, and a history of their most popular posts/comments.
The biggest component of matching will be finding people with similar karma and interests based on the subreddits they follow. Expect lots of bad puns and nerdy references in every conversation. Fedoras and neckbeards are sure to abound on this dating app.
4. YouTube Rolls Out 10 Minute Ads Users Can’t Skip
YouTube will introduce new 10-minute, unskippable ads before videos. The rationale will be that these new “youtube shorts!” give valuable exposure for brands while users wait for their video.
To the outrage of the YouTube community, the 10-minute ads will quickly dominate the platform. Say goodbye to perusing YouTube while waiting in line – now you’ll be forced to watch lengthy commercials of influencers awkwardly promoting products they don’t understand.
5. Instagram Gets Rid of Photos
In the most shocking social update of 2024, Instagram will phase out photo posting in favor of only allowing IGTV videos. They’ll say static photos are outdated and that video is the future.
Users will revolt at first, but eventually get on board. Prepare for your Insta feed to become a constant barrage of cringey influencer videos full of bad acting and sponsored content #nofilter #justbeingreal. RIP Instagram photos – you will be missed.
6. Facebook Says the Metaverse Will Launch “Next Year, We Promise”
At Facebook’s annual conference, Mark Zuckerberg will once again boast that the fully immersive metaverse is just around the corner. He’ll claim Facebook is making huge strides towards launching it and say “next year for sure!”
This speech will mark the 10th year in a row that Facebook has claimed the metaverse is coming next year. At this point, no one believes their promises anymore. But Zuckerberg will maintain his poker face and pretend the metaverse that still doesn’t exist is right on track.
7. Snapchat Releases “Nostalgia” Filter to Make You Look Old
Since all the social apps now have filters that make you look creepily young, Snapchat will flip the switch and introduce a filter that ages you 50 years.
Teens will get a kick out of using the “nostalgia” filter and seeing themselves with wrinkles and grey hair. Expect youth to start posting heavily filtered selfies captioned “wisdom comes with age” as they poke fun at looking elderly on social media.
8. LinkedIn Users Stage Protest Against Toxic Positivity Culture
Fed up with the barrage of humblebrags and toxic positivity plaguing LinkedIn’s culture, users will band together to protest against it. They’ll post LinkedIn stories venting about how the platform pressured them to pretend their lives were perfect.
The hashtag #ToxicLinkedIn will go viral as people open up about their struggles with anxiety, burnout, and depression that the positivity culture on LinkedIn exacerbated. Hopefully, this movement will inspire people to be more real versus virtue signaling on LinkedIn.
9. Reddit Mods Stage Mass Resignation
Unpaid Reddit mods who work tirelessly to manage subreddits will stage a mass resignation to protest lack of compensation. For a day, all the biggest subreddits like r/askreddit, r/news, r/worldnews will shut down with mods declaring they are on strike.
Without mods to keep order, Reddit will devolve into chaos. Subreddits will be flooded with spam, harassment, and NSFW content without anyone to filter it. This day will highlight just how much unpaid labor mods contribute to running Reddit.
10. Facebook Launches FacePhone
Taking integration to the next level, Facebook will unveil its very own smartphone – the FacePhone. It will come preloaded with Facebook apps and features that track your movement, interests, and social connections through the camera, microphone, and location services.
11. X Adds a Dislike Button
Finally answering years of pleas from users, X will introduce a downvote or dislike button. It will spark chaos as people eagerly downvote tweets they don’t agree with into a oblivion. The platform will quickly remove it due to excessive negativity.
12. LinkedIn Adds Filter to Make You Look Like You’re Crying
To highlight the painful grind of hustle culture, LinkedIn will introduce a crying filter for profile pics. Members can showcase how tortured they are by the never-ending hustle with teary, bloodshot eyes.
13. Reddit Karma Becomes a Cryptocurrency
Reddit will convert karma points into KarmaCoin – a digital currency you can use to buy premium memberships, coins to award posts, custom avatars and more! People will go crazy trying to rake in as much karma as possible.
14. Elon Musk Adds Animation Feature to X
Elon introduces a feature that animated X photos based on their captions. Get ready for an onslaught of bizarre cartoons acting out users’ tweets.
15. Instagram Becomes a Dating App Called InstaDate
Instagram rebrands itself as InstaDate by swapping the camera for a Tinder-like interface to find matches. Swipe right on people’s IG profiles instead of photos to find love.
16. LinkedIn Adds Multiplayer Career Networking Game
To make networking more fun, LinkedIn adds a multiplayer simulation game called Career Quest. Players network and interview for jobs to gain XP, unlock achievements and level up their online resumes.
17. Redditors Unionize and Issue Demands
Subreddit mods will join together to form Redditors UnitedTM – a union that issues formal demands for revenue sharing and better tools/support. Reddit will initially push back but eventually negotiate and recognize this historic digital union.
18. Twitter Rolls Out 280,000 Character Tweet Limit
In an effort to compete with blogging platforms, Twitter will expand the character limit of a regular tweet to 280,000. This will completely transform Twitter into long-form writing and basically turn it into Tumblr 2.0.
